Divorce Q&A

Do not sign anything. Resist threats and the desire to get it over with. Wait until you know more. Don’t give away your rights. You may feel very differently 3 years from now.

Take a deep breath. You can do this. You’ll come out on the other side of this experience with skills and strengths you never knew you had.

Keep emotional and financial costs to a minimum. Find an adult you can confide in. Do not use a child or attorney in place of a therapist or friend.

There are a few low-cost options, even if your available funds are minimal.

Unlike criminal court where a public defender will be assigned to you, you must hire your own divorce attorney if you decide you need one. Attorney fees average $250-$500 per hour. Typically, a family law attorney will ask for $2,000-$7,000 up front to cover the costs of familiarizing themselves with your case. A few lawyers will offer a payment plan, but many will not.

Coming up with the fees may seem impossible—especially if you no longer have access to your household income. Most people put the payment on a credit card, if they have one, and trust that the funds can be sorted out later.

That depends. Is your divorce complex/contested, or simple/uncontested? A simple divorce starts with minimal property, few debts, and no children. A complex divorce may include kids, pets, debts, and property.

1. Complex/contested

If your divorce is complex/contested, even if you are the one who initiates the separation, it’s seldom easy. When kids, pets, debts, and property are involved, it gets even more complicated. If your partner isn’t interested in voluntary mediation, you would be wise to consult an attorney.

Note: Mediation is not recommended for coercive relationships.

2. Simple/uncontested

If simple, here are some resources that may help:

Simple/uncontested divorce Michigan Divorce Book: A Guide to Doing an Uncontested Divorce Without An Attorney (with or without minor children) by Michael Maran.

Women’s Law website. State-specific legal information in Spanish and English, with an email hotline.

Lakeshore Legal Aid. A law firm in 14 Michigan locations providing a range of free civil legal services for lower-income individuals and seniors. They cover Washtenaw County for divorce-related issues such custody, parenting time, paternity, and child support. 888.783.8190.

Legal Services of South Central Michigan. Free legal advice and representation on civil matters such as custody and divorce when women and children are at risk, family law, wills, power of attorney, eviction, foreclosure, utility shut-offs, and tenant repair issues for lower-income residents. (The Washtenaw County location does NOT handle divorce-related issues such as custody and child support. See instead, The Family Law Project.)

Washtenaw County/EMU Legal Resource Center. Legal self-help forms and information—but not advice—for people without an attorney. Will supply divorce paperwork packet.

Under Michigan’s no-fault divorce law, income, debts, and parenting time are divided equitably unless there is strong evidence that things should be otherwise. Fairness is part of the consideration: who carries responsibility for the children; how old both partners are; how long you have been together; what each has contributed to the relationship. Spousal support (i.e., alimony) is not automatic, but may be awarded to a vulnerable partner. Learn more about your legal/financial rights in our divorce workshops.

For unmarried couples who break up, legal protections do not apply. Michigan does not legitimize new long-term non-marital relationships, but will honor relationships that qualify as “common-law” from other States. [One exception: relationships entered into before January 1, 1957.] Ideally, a mediator could help you negotiate a fair settlement.

When there is an imbalance of power or money, you need someone on your side. Do not do it alone!

1. Hire an attorney, but keep costs low.

2. Do not use your attorney as a therapist. Attorney fees average $250-$500 per hour.

3. Make a list ahead of time of the issues and questions you want to cover

4. Keep to the point.

5. Do not elaborate on how hurt, sad, and angry you are. Get in and get out. Save those highly-charged emotional issues for your therapist or friends.

You are wise to be cautious. The most dangerous time in a coercive relationship is when your partner senses you are about to leave. Get the support you need to do this safely.

Your local domestic violence agency can talk you through the process of creating a safety plan.

Intimate partner violence - In Washtenaw County, you may qualify for legal services through SafeHouse Center’s intern-facilitated court advocacy, the Family Law Project.

U-visa - If you are undocumented and your partner is abusive you may qualify for a U-visa. More information is available through the Family Law Project at SafeHouse Center in Washtenaw County. In Wayne, call Community Health and Social Services Center & La Vida partnership at 313.849.3920.

Children at risk - The National Council on Juvenile and Family Court Justices has compiled instructions on how to proceed if your partner is threatening to use custody of your children against you.

If you have evidence that your children have been endangered or are at risk for abuse, the Washtenaw County Child Advocacy Center may be able to help through a referral from the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services or law enforcement. Anyone seeking counseling or prevention education can call 734.544.2925 to ask about the process.